I have often wondered, if I won the lottery would I have any surgeries done. Plastic or otherwise. After a few minutes of thinking this time, I made a mental list. My number 5 was a lobotomy.
All of my life, my nonsensical mind and lack of a sane mental state has followed me around like a stage 5 clinger. Never leaving me alone and torturing me throughout my days. And, if you knew me at all, you would know that I like my space.
Yes, I know what you are saying. It’s my mind and my mental state. But, it’s not like I went to Walmart, perused the shelves and picked out these lovely pieces of merchandise myself. It’s what the higher spiritual power gifted me. So, I blame Him/Her/It for the clingers.
The depths my mind can take me is no fun. Often cold, dark and lonely. And, other times (sometimes seconds later) warm, sunny and cheery with a need for adventure and a love for the future. My mind can ignore my flaws one minute and then dissect the hell out of them the next. The ups and downs, depression and self-hatred can destroy any moment without a trace of warning. You know those annoying warnings on the Iphone about your storage being full?? I would love one of them every time a roller coaster of emotions was coming my way.
So, a lobotomy would be great! Santa, can you hear me?! I would have a break. A timeout from over thinking. From torturing myself to the edge of insanity. I would be a different person.
But, I guess that would be a negative too. I am a decent person…sometimes. Would I still like the same things? What if I didn’t like the Beatles anymore? That’s a scary thought. There’s probably negative side effects and all. I haven’t done any research on it. So maybe having them scrap away at my frontal lobe isn’t a good idea and I should move it down to at least #10 on the list for now.
It was a good idea for a second.